Your perspective greatly influences your voice.
Your voice is not just what you say, but also how other people perceive you. Think of it like a function, now hear me out. The input is other people's actions, The function is your perspective, and the output is your reactions. Most the time this formula doesn't work, but, the good news is the bible is like an instruction manual for changing your perspective.
If you put the work in you can vastly improve your relationships with any, and all of your family.
Perspective is a concept I had an ah-ha moment about recently. The longer you live the more perspective, you have. I am the middle child, so I have the perspective of the older, and the younger sister. I have the perspective of someone who grew up in a homeschooling family, and of the child of parents who started their own business. Feel free to share what perspectives you have in the comments.
Take this scenario, for example.
You wake up in the morning ready to seize the day. You get dressed, then head into the kitchen to start breakfast, and your mom asks you to do something. You try to explain what you are doing and your mom gets mad, sound familiar?
Let's look at it from her perspective. She has been up for two hours already, she cleaned the kitchen, from the mess you didn't clean up after supper last night. When you finally get out of bed, you head right to the kitchen, thinking only of only yourself and your stomach. Her hands are full and she asks you to do one small thing. All she got from you is back talk.
Now you may not think you back talked, but, did you change your tone, did you sigh, or did your body language give away how you really felt? I know it is hard to accept that you may have been in the wrong, but you could have handled that much better than you did. You know how frustrated you feel when you are trying to explain yourself to your mom, she feels the same way. The thing is, you aren't evaluating your own behavior.
Have you ever read some of the writings on parenting teens?
I read one that talked a mother who invited her family to sit outside for breakfast. Her daughter was upset about some teen drama and was making the meal increasingly unpleasant. Her mother lost her cool and threw her coffee past her daughter's head and into the pool. Then she told her daughter, she wanted to hit her head, and her daughter should be grateful she loved her enough to miss. I bet after hearing that story you are liking the sound of your mother. Yeah, so am I.
If all our moms had the self control of this mother, how different would our lives be? Even if our moms had our patience, or our self control, we wouldn't like it very much would we. This is why we should strive to learn self control, and patience now, so when we are setting the tone of our households' we are following the example of Jesus himself.
When you are in a bad mood, or upset about something, that is when you should put in the most effort to wash your families' feet.
When you aren't watching your attitude, It is far, too easy to blame the other person. I know how many times I have blamed my sisters or my mom for something that was my fault. How do you monitor your behavior? Think about it, how many times did you clean the kitchen in the last week, how much laundry did you do? Now stop comparing yourself to your sister, mother, or anyone else. How often would you be doing these things if she wasn't doing them for you?
If you did do your laundry, or your dishes, if you cooked for yourself did you do anything for anyone else? Or did you do one load of their laundry, and mention it to them a million times? Remember, you live in your parent's house, do you pay rent? You eat your parent's food, do you pay for it?
Join me in this prayer
Our savior, lord of heaven's armies, we will never reach your glory, or the glory of your son. We have fallen short a million times, but your unmatched grace saves us again. I ask of you protect us from arrogance, And pride that keep us from seeing when we are in the wrong. I relinquish my hold on my life and allow you do your work, for no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what you have prepared for those who love you. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.