God gave me peace.

God spoke to me

 This is a creative leaf rubbing, I wrote psalm 25:9-5 over it. I try to do something creative everyday. When I am in a bad mood being creative lifts my sprits, I was really struggling today, then I took a moment to pray, I went down on my knees and asked for help. Not long after that, I got on Pinterest. God spoke to me though a Pinterest pin. It said one hundred my fall by your side and ten thousand at your right hand but it will not come near you Psalm 91:7 I pinned the pin to my bible board. I took a much needed deep breath and felt peaceful for the first time all day.

How I can start my day off better 

     I plan on putting up a prayer above my bed so I can remember to start my day off right. I worked in little ways to lift the moods of the people around me, my focus shifted from my problems to the problems of those around me. I left a note that said "Hold E'm,  Fold E'm,  Walk away,  run" on the dryer when my mom went to check the laundry, I asked if she had found my note. She said "Yes what is that supposed to mean?" I started singing Kenny Roger's The Gambler, "You got to know when to hold E'm, know when to fold E'm, know when to walk away, and know when to run." We both started laughing and singing, which made us feel better.    

I also plan to start a biblical morning routine to get me to not lean on my own understanding.

I made an effort to be self sacrificial 

    Then I played with my little sister, she is always begging to play, it seems, but I keep reminding myself that she will eventually not want to play anymore, so I should take the time I have with her. I enjoy telling her stories more than I will admit to her, it gives me another creative expression, I hope she never grows out of listening to my stories. Just as I will never grow out of listening to my mom's. Even though mine are made up, and my mom's are based her experiences.

 The Geek word for self sacrificial love is agape

My loved role model

     My mom is so confident, I wish I could be more like her. My mom tells me that she is motivated and confident because God gives her confidence. Her confidence comes from asking God before she makes decisions. She doesn't care what anyone thinks of her, but she is also the best nurse I've ever seen. She is a fantastic house keeper, her cooking is far superior to mine. She is a devout wife and mother, and yet she is humble. Everything she does is an act of worship. She only gives godly advise.

My confession to you

     I have many decisions to make, I am almost eighteen. My parents are letting me made some of my own decisions, but I also have to deal with the consequences. I am waiting, and praying. When I read blogs that are linked to Pinterest everyone seems to have it all together, that is part of the reason the Internet can be so dangerous. It can make you question yourself, your life and make you envy other people and what they have. I don't have it all together, I don't even know what is going in my own head most the time.

What I want to learn next

     The creative project I am engrossed in right now is learning how to make my own clothes. I am going to start with making a shirt or blouse. I am researching, learning and preparing right now. My parents said they will take me to Hennessy soon to buy fabric I have worked with my dad all summer to save up money, I will spend this money to buy fabric. I am torn between buying fabric to further my education in sewing and altering clothes, or buying fabric to make stuff to sell. I suppose I will split and buy fabric for both. I also need needles, and want pattern drafting tools. I also need to remember my chores.

My prayer

      You are all knowing God, Greater than my mind can conceive. You have answered my questions in the past, things I put most importance on, are trivial to you.  I ask that you again show your faithfulness to me, and lead my paths. I revere and respect what you tell me to do, even when I don't like what you have decreed. I will not run like Jonah and the whale, I submit. In the name of Jesus. Amen.